Wednesday, February 29, 2012

8 months is like No Man's Land!

Diane and I have been in the mission 8 months. But really, an 8 month anniversary is kind of weak. Wonder why no one makes a big deal about an 8 month anniversary (except for junior high school girls)? Because you are stuck in no man's land.

6 months is a big deal because it is HALF of a year. But just 2 months later...? What has changed? We're not even into the double digits yet! People don't want to celebrate again with you until you have hit a year. And you certainly are not getting a meal, party or present for your 8th month anniversary.

Think about it, does a pregnant woman celebrate her 8th month of pregnancy? No, she talks in terms of weeks before or after her "due date".

A teenager can't wait to be 15 years and 6 months old so he can start driving with a permit. He's not celebrating when he turns 15 years and 8 months old, he is focused on turning 16 so he can drive without his father in the passenger seat.

And there is no cute "tag" for 8 months in a 3 year mission. It is not a tenth, fifth, quarter, third or half of our mission. It is just 8 months! You get the point.

Nevertheless, Diane and I have taken note that today is our 8th month anniversary in the mission. Here are somethings that I have noticed after 8 months:

I still have no clue what a person's last name is. Ricardo Perez, Ricardo Perez Diaz and Ricardo Alberto Diaz Perez can all be the same person or 3 different people. I stick to Señor, Señora, Hermano, Hermana or Elder and Presidente.

I can not figure out the phone numbers. Sometimes you dial 0 first. Sometimes you add a 9 in the middle. Sometimes you put in 15 for a cell phone. If you are not preset in the "contacts" in my phone...I won't be calling!

Only the uber-wealthy can afford the financial consequences of making a left turn in the city. Ask 10 people the rules and you get 10 different answers. If one of the 10 people you ask is the policeman who just pulled you over, you will be handing him some cash as a thank you. (yes, I am still a little sensitive about that one)

After extensive research I have concluded that Terrabusi makes the best dulce de leche alfajor.

"Chiquita Banana" is actually spanish, not english.

In the big scheme of things the NBA, NHL, NFL and MLB are irrelevant. But, FIFA is king!

98 percent of the birds are fast enough to just barely get out of the way of a speeding vehicle.

It does not matter what time zone you live in, if you wake up at 2:00 am and fall back asleep at 3:00 am, you are going to be dead tired at 6:00 am.

If you are speaking a foreign language and can't recall the exact word you want to use, so you use 20 words to describe the one word you mean, your listeners will wait all the way to the 20th word before they tell you the word you are searching for. Example, "You know, that machine with a motor and hose that you use when you have dirt on the floor that you want to clean up...(pause)...that uses electricity and makes noise like a sucking sound...(pause) use it instead of a broom and sometimes it has wheels...(pause, now desperate) English it is called a "vacuum cleaner". Finally, "Oh, sure, you mean an aspiradora...."

And...we have missionaries in Fontana, Chaco and Fontana, Formosa. Missionaries in Roque Saenz Peña, Posadas and Roque Saenz Peña, Chaco. Eldorado, Misiones and El Colorado, Chaco. Jardin America not to be confused with Jardin! Puerto, Formosa and Puerto Rico, Misiones. Laguna Blanca, Formosa and Laguna Seca, Corrientes...we are down to 3 Elder Taylors from 4 and 1 Elder Moore from 3. Elder Diaz and Hermana Ruiz Diaz. Elder R. Fernandez and Elder A. Fernandez. 2 Elder Estradas, Elder Rivera and Elder Riveros and on and on and on. In 8 months, we have learned to love them all and everywhere they serve. But we promise, no more mention of anniversaries until July!


  1. The other day I was driving and it became clear to me why you were so afraid when I started breaking in the middle of the intersection during a yellow light.

    Who was waiting to celebrate when I turned 16? Your or me?

    Happy 8 months! Only 28 more months of hearing Kyle say, "I think Papa and Grandma are done with their mission!" every time a plane passes over.

  2. So true! I laughed All The Way through. And then immediately got tear-y eyed reading the comment.

  3. Pres & Sister Heyman,
    I have enjoyed following your blog. My son, Elder Garth Massey, is serving in your mission.
    Denise Massey